“Wotcha, me old muckers! That’s me, dead in in the centre of the picture. Dead Fred. Nah you might think that me and me mates have a pretty rough deal, being casualty markers, ‘an all; but I’m here to tell yer that it’s the best job on the table, and here’s why.
You see ol’ Stefan there, on the base of the Romanians? I ain’t seen him aht o’ the box since March 2019 on the DNEPR. Farkas in the Hungarian Box ain’t seen the light o’ day since February 2019, even if’n ‘e did have a lick of varnish earlier this year. It’s not the same though , is it?
Now me, I get to see the ol’ tabletop nearly every game. And ‘cos I’m looking up, I get to see stuff without ‘avin to do any of the ‘ard work. Admittedly, I mos’ly sits behind Russkies and Sausage Eaters, but the booze ain’t bad, and if some o’ them Prussians are a bit korrect, the Bavarians really know how to throw a party. Know wot I mean? Nah wot abaht them horrific wounds, I ‘ere yer say? Nah mate, that’s just paint!
I count meself lucky that I wern’t cast like young Facedown Frank over there. ‘E only gets to ‘ear about the battles. Still, the lights don’t keep him awake none. Tarrah then, s’pose I’ll see yer all at the next shindig. I’ll be doing the same as usual …. relaxin’!”